[dst]

“The Lega Calcio must not be perceived as an association of criminals.�
Why change such a long-running Italian tradition, Antonio Matarrese?

“If I join a private club, then I have to respect the rules. I can’t just steal the silverware and then complain.�
FIGC chief Guido Rossi carries his SWAG bag out of Calciopoli.

“I didn’t like reading some comments my fellow tacticians made about Roberto Donadoni. They were particularly nasty and disguised a bit of jealousy at what he has achieved.�
Walter Novellino identifies Azzurri Envy.

“My life has changed. I am happy and relaxed. I owe all of that to Roberto Baggio.�
Sebastien Frey embraces Buddhism and the Divine Ponytail’s teachings.

“I don’t understand why Juventus continue to maintain Mauro Camoranesi has accepted Serie B. It isn’t true.�
Keeping everyone thoroughly confused, it’s Camoranesi’s agent Sergio Fortunato.

“We now only need to understand what Juve’s position will be.�
Dear Mr Fortunato, I think they want him to stay…

“I cannot wait to pull on this mythical Bianconeri jersey.�
Jean-Alain Boumsong seeks the Holy Grail of football shirts.

“I used to play for a team as a child called Juventus. It must be fate.�
But was he any good for them? The worrying Bianconeri faithful ask…

“Alain is a real defender. He has great athletic qualities, although he did struggle last season.�
Juventus boss Didier Deschamps confirms that he did actually see Boumsong at Newcastle last season.

“We still consider the fact we had to play this preliminary round as an injustice, but we’re back where we belong now.�
Don’t do it, Carlo Ancelotti, don’t start singing ‘Up where we belong’!

“We made some silly mistakes and they cost us the game.�
Chievo Coach Bepi Pillon identifies the difference between a successful team and a losing one.

“I hope that Juventus stay in Serie B – especially because of the joy it gives us ant-Juventini.�
Aldo Agroppi – he’s all heart…

“Why did I choose the 17 shirt? Because one plus seven makes eight, which I didn’t want to take off Alberto Aquilani.�
Roma’s David Pizarro – who said footballers are stupid?


Football Italia

[misha]

“My Juventus will be a real pain for everyone.�Claudio Ranieri – it’s no more Mr Nice Guy!

“I complimented Vincenzo Iaquinta after a friendly between Udinese and Chelsea, as even if he was a little rough, you could see he had the characteristics of a great player.�In Wimbledon fortnight, Ranieri hits a brilliant backhanded compliment

“Roma have chosen a professional approach and will stick with it right to the end. Inter have chosen another and we respect their decision.�Rosella Sensi proves nobody can lay guilt trips quite like female football directors

“I had come to visit Inter, with Cagliari’s permission, so to get a certain call at midnight was strange. I asked myself what was going on.�David Suazo thought for a moment he was starring in a remake of ‘Scream’

“I hope that we can find an agreement as soon as possible. If not then I will remain with my current contract… but I won’t be happy!�Tommaso Rocchi should realise sulking isn’t the best leverage during pay rise negotiations

“I had lots of offers, but I wanted to stay here.�David Trezeguet never lost his love for Juventus, even when making rude gestures at the directors’ box and calling their contract offer “ridiculous�

“Antonio Cassano needs to feel valued by his public and Napoli have the kind of fans he needs.�Agent Beppe Bozzo knows nothing impresses Cassano like giant murals of his pock-marked face peppered around the city

“Roberto Mancini is now one of the only people who speaks well of Cassano. I think that in terms of character we are similar. Like me, he also made a few mistakes when he was young.�We hope talking about himself in the third person was not one of them, Cassano

“There are too many vultures circling, so I can only confirm he is a famous French international.�Livorno President Aldo Spinelli buries imminent signing Vikash Dhorasoo to be on the safe side

“Barcelona made an interesting offer. I cannot communicate it out of respect to the two clubs involved, but I repeat it was interesting.�Roma director of sport Daniele ‘Interesting’ Pradé has been taking lessons from Steve ‘Interesting’ Davis

“I didn’t expect this. I am truly honoured.�Gennaro Gattuso celebrates his own Day in the Canadian city of Oshawa. One hopes he wasn’t mistaken for his own furry mascot

“After having signed the contract, my first sensations were of joy and enthusiasm.�New Catania goalkeeper Albano Benjamin Bizzarri was going to go for ‘nausea and ennui’, but thought better of it in his presentation Press conference

“A goalkeeper has two missions – to give the defence a sense of calm and to guarantee points in the difficult moments with crucial saves.�Bizzarri reveals his new holistic massage training techniques

“I am sure Rosella Sensi would cut off her hand before selling her precious midfielder, Daniele De Rossi.�Transfer fees are getting very steep, eh Ernesto Bronzetti? We know people say he’d cost an arm and a leg, but still…

“I have spoken to Barcelona President Joan Laporta and he told me that should he sell Ronaldinho, he would have to leave the country.�Milan patron Silvio Berlusconi offers to buy Laporta a house in Italy as part of the transfer deal

“I want to thank President Massimo Moratti. There is a good chance that I will come to Italy.�Straight talk from Inter target Carlos Tevez in the ‘Gazzetta dello Sport’ on June 26

“I know people are talking about Arsenal and that is something I am excited about.�That’s Tevez again, also on June 26, to the English Press

“Pavel Nedved is like a battery, he just needs a bit of recharging.�Juventus President Giovanni Cobolli Gigli reveals what we always suspected – Nedved is the Duracell Bunny

“Latin football saved face in the race with the British, who had brought three clubs to the semi-finals.�He may be the UEFA President, but Michel Platini still has a thoroughly French enjoyment in seeing England fail

“Talking to Christian Abbiati and his agent was a pleasure. The negotiations were constructive and positive. I spoke to a player who is eager to continue his Granata adventure.�Torino general manager Stefano Antonelli may have been talking to a look-alike, as two days later Abbiati signed for Atletico Madrid

“For some reason whenever I came to Marassi with Reggina I was always given a warm welcome. A sort of reciprocal fondness grew over the years.�Walter Mazzarri insists Sampdoria fans have been giving him the eye for ages

“When I have to explain to the players what went wrong, I don’t need to track the moment down on the videotape. I have it burned on my memory.�And yet Mazzarri is always forgetting his keys

“I am happy Parma survived, because this team is the shining jewel in a city that is symbolic of culture, politeness and civility.�And ham and cheese, continued Arrigo Sacchi …