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Bluesummers
QUOTE
On The Pitch

1) In Italy on Sundays, it's church, match, home for supporters. In England, its pub, match, pub.

2) In Italy, pasta and meatballs with a glass of red wine is the pre-match meal. In England, kebab and chips with a pint of beer on the way to the stadium does the trick.

3) In Italy, the police will allow you to throw oranges at a team bus. In England you'd go to jail.

4) Italian fans behave when going abroad, but go berserk at home. English fans behave at home, but go stark-raving mad when in Europe.

5) In England, fans sit on the stadium seats. In Italy they use them as weapons.

6) In England, the stadium stewards watch the crowd. In Italy, the stewards watch the match or, as in the case at Catania, are actually club Ultras.

7) In England, if you want something to eat at a game you have to go and buy it from the stadium snack bar. In Italy, you just shout 'A Bibitaro' at the guy selling snacks 20 metres away, and then push your money along the row of fans as he passes a cornetto back.

8) In England, if you are fast, strong and powerful, and can run nonstop for 90 minutes you are a great player, even if you have the touch and skills of a donkey. In Italy, if you are tactically and technically excellent, you are a good player, even if you have the speed and mobility of a snail.

9) In England, if SKY Sports says that Peter Crouch is the best player in the world, the whole country believes and preaches it. In Italy, if SKY Italia says that Simone Loria is the best defender on the planet, the whole nation cancels their satellite subscription.

10) In Italy, ‘the end justifies the means’, and shirt-pulling, diving, cynical fouls and fooling the referee are seen as important parts of the game. In England, these things are seen as cheating, and the philosophy that ‘the means justifies the end’ is followed, with fair play more important than winning at all costs.

11) In Italy, defending is an art. In England, defending is anti-football.

12) In Italy, if a team is 3-0 down, the players all give up, while the fans abuse the team, smash up the worst player’s car, and invade training the next morning. In England, if a team is losing 8-0, the players continue to fight and chase every ball until the last minute even though the cause is lost, while the supporters continue to sing and cheer on their heroes.

13) In England, a bad referee is incompetent. In Italy, a bad referee is corrupt.

14) In England post-weekend football shows are 99% highlights and 1% analysis. In Italy shows are 1% highlights, and 99% analysis (or slow-motion replays).

15) In England, you rarely hear from chairmen, who often mind their own business and stay out of the press. In Italy, the presidents are utterly insane at times, regularly making controversial remarks, with Palermo’s Maurizio Zamparini the most infamous.

Off The Pitch

16) In Italy, bribery and corruption is a part of life. In England, a backhander is a tennis shot.

17) In England, you are innocent until proven guilty. In Italy, you are guilty until proven innocent.

18) In Italy, children are first given alcohol when they are nine months old, and learn how to respect and enjoy liquor. In England, children are banned from drinking alcohol until they are 18, and then proceed to massacre the stuff.

19) In Italy, sons are cradled by their mothers until they are 40. In England, sons have their own house and are looking after themselves at the age of 16.

20) Italian men are already shaving before they are 11-years-old, and need to use a razor every day to stay smooth. English men don’t start shaving until they are 18, and then have to wait five years just to grow a little bit of stubble on the end of their chin.

21) In England, punctuality and timekeeping is extremely important. In Italy, being on time is arriving 30 minutes late.

22) In Italy, no one who travels by train buys a ticket. In England, everyone buys a ticket, even though the prices are a scandalous rip-off and it would be cheaper to take a taxi.

23) In England, breaking the law is something you usually keep to yourself. In Italy, breaking petty rules is a source of amusement and something worth boasting about.

24) Italians who go on holiday blend into the surroundings and will turn brown in the sun. The English, who spend most their holidays recovering from sunburn, have ‘tourist’ written all over them as they trudge onto the beach with Hawaiian shirts, and socks and sandles.

25) In Italy the idea of wearing head-to-toe sporting clothing is considered unfashionable. In England wearing anything other than head-to-toe sports clothing is considered feminine.

26) In Italy, no one queues up, instead pushing in at the last minute after pretending they know someone at the front. In England, people queue up for hours, and then when they are still turned away at the end, they leave without a fuss.

27) In Italy, politics is a matter of life and death depending on which side of the fence you are on. In England it is not as important as 'Big Brother', a show where a bunch of talentless nobodies do nothing all day.

28) In Italy, it is normal for two people of the same sex to greet each other with a hug and kiss on both cheeks. In England, you are not heterosexual if you do this.

29) In Italy, if you go to a dinner party, you are guaranteed a six course meal, a doggy bag, and you have to refuse even more food at least 10 times before the host finally accepts no for an answer. “Are you sure, you don’t want some more?”…”Yes, I am bloody sure!” In England, you are asked to bring a bottle with you, the sausage rolls and Quavers run out after 10 minutes, and you have to make a stop at the McDonalds drive-thru on the way back home because you are still hungry.

30) In Italy, TV babes include Juliana Moreira, Ilary Blasi, Christina Chiabotto, Ilaria D’Amico and Michelle Hunziker, to name just a handful. In England it's Jordan or Jody Marsh.

31) In England, if you suffer from Insomnia, the doctor prescribes medication. In Italy, if you suffer from Insomnia, the doctor gives you tickets for a Serie A game.


courtesy of goal.com. All i gotta say is hahahahhahahahaha. Dont know if any of it is true but it sure is helarious!!!
dst
puke.gif **** OFF! This **** almost makes me want to see inter hammer United.

edit: No. In fact, I want inter to **** them hard! Go Mourinho!!!
Bluesummers
Yeah dst, welcome to the dark side! FORZA MOURINHO!!!
Habitant
the off the pitch are funny and mostly true

on the pitch meh dont agree with all of them...
Tennie
Lots of really negative and biased stereotypes used there.
dst
QUOTE (Bluesummers @ Feb 24 2009, 07:03 PM) *
Yeah dst, welcome to the dark side! FORZA MOURINHO!!!

Now that I think of it again... Roma and Juve progressing would be enough. And of course Hala Madrid!

QUOTE (Tennie @ Feb 24 2009, 07:08 PM) *
Lots of really negative and biased stereotypes used there.

To someone who knows nothing, this article says that Serie A is not a football championship but a diving, corruption and boredom championship instead.
Bluesummers
QUOTE (Tennie @ Feb 24 2009, 11:08 AM) *
Lots of really negative and biased stereotypes used there.


yup for both sides, and they are hilarious!
Habitant
anyways Garganese is a Tw@T
Tennie
Don't think they're that funny, actually. Some of 'em are downright offensive. Yet another reason not to bother with goal.com.
Bluesummers
tennie... is number 18 on the list about alcohol actually true? I would be very shocked if it was.
Zed.D
I thought Garganese was pro-Italian huh.gif

I don't claim to know about Italy as much as say, Tennie. however, I know enough and I think half of this is BS (obviously).

It's hilarious nonetheless biggrin.gif
Habitant
QUOTE (Bluesummers @ Feb 24 2009, 05:22 PM) *
tennie... is number 18 on the list about alcohol actually true? I would be very shocked if it was.

italians in general are like that.

i've been allowed to drink as long as i can remember, obviously when i was young there was a limit.

LaPalma
I can't get really mad about this. After all it's satire. And satire is allowed to do (almost) anything. And yes, some parts of it are indeed funny.
Zed.D
QUOTE (Habitant @ Feb 24 2009, 10:02 PM) *
italians in general are like that.

i've been allowed to drink as long as i can remember, obviously when i was young there was a limit.


You are of Italian descent?

QUOTE (LaPalma @ Feb 24 2009, 10:07 PM) *
I can't get really mad about this. After all it's satire. And satire is allowed to do (almost) anything. And yes, some parts of it are indeed funny.


+1
Habitant
QUOTE (Zed.D @ Feb 24 2009, 05:46 PM) *
You are of Italian descent?

yep

maybe it's just like that in my family and you know what theres no problems with booze and overdrinking.

edit *and any overdrinking i've been involved in was with my buddies cuz there were so intent on it, and you know teens will be teens.
Zed.D
QUOTE (Habitant @ Feb 24 2009, 09:35 PM) *
yep


Wouldn't it be rude if I asked which region do your ancestors come from? smile.gif
kurtsimonw
QUOTE (dst @ Feb 24 2009, 05:14 PM) *
To someone who knows nothing, this article says that Serie A is not a football championship but a diving, corruption and boredom championship instead.

Really? unsure.gif huh.gif blink.gif

I thought it was very anti-English when I was reading it. Very, very funny overall, though.
acid911
QUOTE (Zed.D @ Feb 25 2009, 12:01 AM) *
Wouldn't it be rude if I asked which region do your ancestors come from?

No. Would it? unsure.gif I mean, all ancestors come from one single place, the very beginning. So why would that be rude?
Habitant
QUOTE (Zed.D @ Feb 24 2009, 08:01 PM) *
Wouldn't it be rude if I asked which region do your ancestors come from? smile.gif

not at all

from the province of Reggio Calabria, more specifically a lil town called Ardore. it's located on the tip of the "boot".
Tennie
Dude!

My family is Calabrese too! (from about 20km inland though).
Zed.D
QUOTE (acid911 @ Feb 25 2009, 01:19 AM) *
No. Would it? unsure.gif I mean, all ancestors come from one single place, the very beginning. So why would that be rude?

I don't believe in Adam and Eve, if that's what you mean wink.gif

QUOTE (Habitant @ Feb 25 2009, 01:53 AM) *
not at all

from the province of Reggio Calabria, more specifically a lil town called Ardore. it's located on the tip of the "boot".

Nice! thanks.
Habitant
i believe tennie's family is from the same province/region^
dst
QUOTE (kurtsimonw @ Feb 24 2009, 10:14 PM) *
Really? unsure.gif huh.gif blink.gif

I thought it was very anti-English when I was reading it. Very, very funny overall, though.

It is bad for both sides but the negative hits about Italian football really hurt. I don't think it's funny myself but anyway.
Zed.D
QUOTE (Habitant @ Feb 25 2009, 05:59 AM) *
i believe tennie's family is from the same province/region^


That's nice too biggrin.gif smile.gif
Bluesummers
the last comment was helarious, the doctor giving serie A tickets. I just laughed at that one so hard.
kurtsimonw
QUOTE (dst @ Feb 25 2009, 10:55 AM) *
It is bad for both sides but the negative hits about Italian football really hurt. I don't think it's funny myself but anyway.

Come on man, lighten up!

Yeah, it takes digs at Serie A, but who cares? It's basically labelling everyone in England alcoholic hooligans who watch talentless players built on nothing but speed and strength.. who cares? It's a joke, it's meant to be funny.
MizNelson
QUOTE
9) In England, if SKY Sports says that Peter Crouch is the best player in the world, the whole country believes and preaches it. In Italy, if SKY Italia says that Simone Loria is the best defender on the planet, the whole nation cancels their satellite subscription.

HA! That one was my favorite.
Locke Lamora
QUOTE (Bluesummers @ Feb 26 2009, 04:31 AM) *
the last comment was helarious, the doctor giving serie A tickets. I just laughed at that one so hard.


Rightly are the simple so called.
Bluesummers
QUOTE (Locke Lamora @ Feb 26 2009, 11:17 AM) *
Rightly are the simple so called.


what? It was a joke man lighten up.
Locke Lamora
QUOTE (Bluesummers @ Feb 26 2009, 08:28 PM) *
what? It was a joke man lighten up.


Well use a smiley or something, I'm getting confused!
It seems like the old bluesummers went out the window and now there's a Mourinho fanboy in here instead.

And I sure hope I'm completely wrong about that, eh?
Bluesummers
QUOTE (Locke Lamora @ Feb 26 2009, 01:34 PM) *
Well use a smiley or something, I'm getting confused!
It seems like the old bluesummers went out the window and now there's a Mourinho fanboy in here instead.

And I sure hope I'm completely wrong about that, eh?


Fan please. Fan boy means i worship inter and have mourinho underwear.


But sure i'll remember to use smileys. Old blue is still here.
Suprpippo
hahaha thats the funniest thin i've seen all day
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